That advice is equally applicable to Wall Street but with a caveat "Don't e-mail anything, you can write on paper. Don't write anything on paper, you can phone....."
Source: hereisthecity.com
1. 'You f.cking Americans. Who are you to tell us, the rest of the world, that we’re not going to deal with Iranians'.
In October 2006, the head of the Standard Chartered’s American operations allegedly sent a panicked message to a Group Executive Director in London, saying that the bank’s handling of Iranian clients could cause 'catastrophic reputational damage'. The above is said to be the reply the American got for his troubles.
2. 'Dude. I owe you big time! Come over one day after work and I'm opening a bottle of Bollinger'.
External trader to a Barclays trader who allegedly asked for a low LIBOR submission.
3. 'Just made it to the country of your favourite clients (Belgians)!!! I have managed to sell a few Abacus bonds to widows and orphans that I ran into at the airport, apparently these Belgians love synthetic ABS CDO2!!!!'.
Fabrice Tourre, an Executive Director in Goldman's Structured Products, Group Trading unit, messaging a girlfriend.
4. Many of the 'e-mails they'd like you to forget' were sent by equity analysts. Here are some other gems which appeared in the press a few years back:
'If I so much as hear one more f.....g peep out of them, we will put the proper rating...on the stock'. (Citigroup)
'If you can't say something positive, don't say anything at all'. (CSFB)
'Question 'What's so interesting about GoTo except investment banking fees ?' Answer - 'Nothin'' (Merrill Lynch)
'Triangle is a very important client. We could not go out with a big research call trashing their lead product'. (UBS)
'For the record, I have attempted to downgrade RSL THREE times over the last year but have been held off for banking reasons each time'. (Lehman)
'I can't believe what a POS that thing is. Shame on me/us for giving them any benefit of the doubt'. (Merrill)
While on the subject of stock analysts, it would be remiss not to mention former Citigroup man Jack Grubman. Former New York State Attorney General Eliot Spitzer released 'report cards' on Grubman. These were compiled by some of Citigroup's own brokers and investment bankers.
Here's a selection of what Grubman's colleagues allegedly said about him:
'Not all four letter words are bad ones. Perhaps some of the analysts, like Grubman, should consider this one: SELL'.
'A monkey could pick better stocks than he could'.
'Please do not fire Jack. He is my No.1 indicator - I do exactly what he says not to'.
5. 'Ratings agencies continue to create an even bigger monster - the CDO market. Let's hope we are all retired by the time this house of cards falters'.
'Screwing with criteria to 'get the deal' is putting the entire S&P franchise at risk - it's a bad idea'.
6. Bear hedge fund manager Matthew Tannin sent the e-mail below to his boss, Ralph Cioffi, in April 2007- months before two Bear hedge funds collapsed. Prosecutors used it to bolster their case that the two men had committed fraud.
'The supbrime market looks pretty damn ugly ... If we believe the (report) is ANYWHERE CLOSE to accurate I think we should close the funds now....the reason for this is that if (the report) is correct then the entire subprime market is toast'.
The matter ended up in court, and all over the front pages. In the end, and after a lot of aggro, both fund managers were found not guilty by a New York jury.
1. 'You f.cking Americans. Who are you to tell us, the rest of the world, that we’re not going to deal with Iranians'.
In October 2006, the head of the Standard Chartered’s American operations allegedly sent a panicked message to a Group Executive Director in London, saying that the bank’s handling of Iranian clients could cause 'catastrophic reputational damage'. The above is said to be the reply the American got for his troubles.
2. 'Dude. I owe you big time! Come over one day after work and I'm opening a bottle of Bollinger'.
External trader to a Barclays trader who allegedly asked for a low LIBOR submission.
3. 'Just made it to the country of your favourite clients (Belgians)!!! I have managed to sell a few Abacus bonds to widows and orphans that I ran into at the airport, apparently these Belgians love synthetic ABS CDO2!!!!'.
Fabrice Tourre, an Executive Director in Goldman's Structured Products, Group Trading unit, messaging a girlfriend.
4. Many of the 'e-mails they'd like you to forget' were sent by equity analysts. Here are some other gems which appeared in the press a few years back:
'If I so much as hear one more f.....g peep out of them, we will put the proper rating...on the stock'. (Citigroup)
'If you can't say something positive, don't say anything at all'. (CSFB)
'Question 'What's so interesting about GoTo except investment banking fees ?' Answer - 'Nothin'' (Merrill Lynch)
'Triangle is a very important client. We could not go out with a big research call trashing their lead product'. (UBS)
'For the record, I have attempted to downgrade RSL THREE times over the last year but have been held off for banking reasons each time'. (Lehman)
'I can't believe what a POS that thing is. Shame on me/us for giving them any benefit of the doubt'. (Merrill)
While on the subject of stock analysts, it would be remiss not to mention former Citigroup man Jack Grubman. Former New York State Attorney General Eliot Spitzer released 'report cards' on Grubman. These were compiled by some of Citigroup's own brokers and investment bankers.
Here's a selection of what Grubman's colleagues allegedly said about him:
'Not all four letter words are bad ones. Perhaps some of the analysts, like Grubman, should consider this one: SELL'.
'A monkey could pick better stocks than he could'.
'Please do not fire Jack. He is my No.1 indicator - I do exactly what he says not to'.
5. 'Ratings agencies continue to create an even bigger monster - the CDO market. Let's hope we are all retired by the time this house of cards falters'.
'Screwing with criteria to 'get the deal' is putting the entire S&P franchise at risk - it's a bad idea'.
6. Bear hedge fund manager Matthew Tannin sent the e-mail below to his boss, Ralph Cioffi, in April 2007- months before two Bear hedge funds collapsed. Prosecutors used it to bolster their case that the two men had committed fraud.
'The supbrime market looks pretty damn ugly ... If we believe the (report) is ANYWHERE CLOSE to accurate I think we should close the funds now....the reason for this is that if (the report) is correct then the entire subprime market is toast'.
The matter ended up in court, and all over the front pages. In the end, and after a lot of aggro, both fund managers were found not guilty by a New York jury.
